In the final installment of our series on the subtleties that ruin attraction, we're tackling a topic that can make even the most confident among us cringe: being physically creepy. As a relationship coach, I've seen it all, and I can tell you that physical creepiness is a major turn-off for women, often driving them away before they even give a guy a chance.
But here's the thing: most of us don't even realize when we're being physically creepy. That's because touch – good or bad – is an energy, and it's all about the quality of that energy. When your touch makes someone feel comfortable and safe, it's a beautiful thing. But when it has the opposite effect, it can be downright creepy.
Let's start with a question: have you ever been that guy who can't seem to keep his hands off a woman, no matter how much she tries to pull away? Or have you been the guy whose touch is like a magnet, making women want more? The difference lies in the quality of your touch – and it's something we all need to learn to master.
Think about it: when you go out, how often do guys touch? According to a recent survey, only about half of them do – and of those, only a fraction touch well. In fact, I would estimate that only about 10% of guys truly know how to touch in a way that makes women feel comfortable and safe. On the other hand, 30% of guys just suck at touching, and 10% are downright creepy.
So, how can you make sure you're not one of the creepy ones? It all starts with learning to enjoy your own touch. When you can relax and enjoy the sensation of touching your own body, you'll be able to transmit that enjoyment to the person you're touching. It's all about feeling grounded and present in your own body, rather than being nervous or pulled in different directions.
But even when you've mastered the art of good touch, there's still the danger of being creepy. That's because creepy touch often comes from a place of neediness or a desire to get something from the other person. When you're focused on what you want, rather than on enjoying the other person's company, your touch can feel creepy – even if you don't mean it to.
To avoid being creepy, it's important to learn to relax and be present with the person you're touching. Don't tense up or pull away; instead, allow yourself to enjoy the sensation of touch. And when you do touch, make sure it's with the intention of making the other person feel comfortable and safe.
In the end, it's all about energy. When your touch is grounded and relaxed, it flows naturally, making the other person want more. But when your touch is needy or pushy, it can feel creepy, driving the other person away. So, take some time to practice enjoying your own touch, and then bring that energy to your interactions with others. Trust me, the results will be worth it.