I'm here to talk about a phenomenon that many of us have experienced: why do we find ourselves drawn to emotionally unavailable people? And what can we do about it?
First, I want to tell you about an upcoming event I'm hosting called the Love Life Reset. If you've been struggling with your love life, feeling disappointed or unsure of how to navigate the current dating landscape, this event is for you. On March 19th, I'll be showing you how to hit the reset button and start a new, productive approach to finding the kind of healthy love you want. Go to lovelifetraining.com to sign up for this free, live event.
Now, let's delve into the topic at hand. Have you found yourself on dates with people who are emotionally unavailable? Maybe you feel no chemistry, or perhaps you have great chemistry but the other person is flaky, distant, and inconsistent. You may find yourself obsessing over them, unable to stop thinking about them even when they're not giving you the attention you desire.
There are two reasons why we find ourselves attracted to emotionally unavailable people. The first is a false economics, where we mistakenly believe that someone's scarcity and absence make them more valuable. This is like the difference between diamonds and air – we may think diamonds are more valuable because they're rare, but air is actually far more essential to our survival. In love, we may find ourselves ignoring the healthier person who wants to date us in favor of someone who is difficult to obtain.
The second reason is deeper and has to do with our past experiences. If we consistently find ourselves drawn to people who make us miserable, it may be because there is something familiar in that pattern. Perhaps we grew up in an environment where love was portrayed as capricious, and we learned to associate those high highs and low lows with love. This pattern can be addictive, and it can be hard to break free from it.
It's important to be conscious of when we're confusing anxiety and uncertainty with love and passion. When we're in the grip of addiction, it can be hard to appreciate something that might be better for us. We may need to regulate our nervous system and decrease our dopamine baseline before we can truly appreciate a healthier kind of love.
The Love Life Reset event on March 19th will delve deeper into these concepts and provide you with a new approach to finding the kind of healthy love that will make you happy and peaceful. Go to lovelifetraining.com to sign up for this free, live event. I hope to see you there.