I once heard a quote that has stuck with me: "Rather than argue with reality, learn the rules so you can shape it to your wishes." This idea is at the core of everything, as the rules we follow and agree to participate in make up our reality. There are simple moral codes that prevent us from acting on our every whim, like slamming into someone because they cut us off in traffic or punching an old lady because she's walking slowly. But there are also less visible rules that determine what is "fair" in our society.
For example, the hardest working person may not be rewarded with the most money. Construction workers don't drive around in Lamborghinis, and the janitor who has to clean the toilets at a shitty steakhouse isn't wearing a Rolex while mopping the floors. This is because our society doesn't value these professions highly, even though they are essential to our daily lives.
The same principle applies to dating. Men may complain that women only like "bad boys" or guys who treat them poorly, while they themselves are "good guys" who would treat women well. But the reality is that people are attracted to certain qualities, and it doesn't always align with what we consider to be "fair." Instead of getting mad at the world, these men have the option to accept reality for what it is or to change themselves to fit into reality in a different way.
Reality is concrete, and if you don't like your reality, you have two options: accept it or change it. When you accept your reality and stop complaining, you can make a conscious decision to become the person that reality is rewarding. This could mean changing your career, starting your own business, or becoming more attractive to the women you want.
I know this from personal experience. I was once in a disagreement with reality and wanted to start a business and have more freedom. I wasn't doing anything about it, and I felt lost. But one day, I decided to change my life and shift my habits, beliefs, and entire persona into the person who is getting the things that I wanted out of life. And now, I have exactly that: the lifestyle, material items, relationships, impact, and the exact person that I wanted to be.
Here are the 10 main rules that I adopted to go from where I was to where I am now:
1. There are no rules. Reality is a blank slate, and you get to create your own rules. Most of the rules that you are following are probably just ideas, beliefs, and limitations that other people have placed onto you.
2. No one's coming to save you. You have to take personal accountability and responsibility for making a change in your life.
3. It's possible to change. Everything that you believe about yourself can be changed.
4. It's often good to be wrong. You have to cross off the answers that aren't right for you before you find what is right for you.
5. Ask what, not when. Anything worth having takes time. Identify the actions that need to be taken every day to ensure that what you want will happen eventually.
6. Shoot more shots. Whoever gets the most reps wins.
7. There's always a third door. You have to be crafty and find a way to get in contact with somebody that you have no business knowing.
8. You're going to hit walls, and that's okay. Keep going and push through the wall.
9. You're going to feel like an impostor. Ignore that voice and continue acting in a way that aligns with the person you want to become.
10. You have all of the answers. Trust yourself and develop a deep level of trust in your own intuition.
By adopting these rules, you can transcend into a better, higher version of yourself.